LinkedIn Pomposity Syndrome

Today in “You can observe a lot just by watching,” we observe LinkedIn Pomposity Syndrome, or LPS.

You know what I’m talking about. There’s even a meme generator out there that will take your most mundane activity (“I ate a sandwich”) and turn it into a LinkedIn post that would inspire the angels.

See if you can guess what was actually done here (answer in 1st comment):

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“I am ecstatic to announce our successful completion of a full-stack restructure of a 380-750nm emissions system in a mission-critical client location. Over the course of a tightly constrained operational maintenance window, our team:

• Used organic radiation detection methodologies to identify and isolate failing infrastructure,

• Evaluated available market-leading emitters and determined the optimal remediation configuration consistent with in-situ devices,

• Leveraged the latest vertical escalation technology to extract low-performing assets from existing socket-based grid infrastructure,

• Using positive‑vector rotational adjustment techniques, deployed industry-standard A19/E26-class hardware into the existing framework, and

• Designed and executed component, regression, stress and user acceptance testing for all up-stream and down-stream use cases, identifying zero post-implementation defects.

The project was completed on time, on budget, and with minimal disruption to critical business processes that were in-flight during execution of the remediation phase.

We believe this project illuminates the advanced technical capabilities we can deploy to address your most challenging radiation-deficiency remediation requirements. We look forward to engaging with you and your facilities optimization teams when you need reliable resolution to your most opaque problems.”

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Can we just tap the brakes on this LPS-stuff a little bit? Knowing the difference between righty-tighty and lefty-loosey is not grounds for corporate adulation. If you did something cool, say, “I did this cool thing.” Anything more makes you look desperate.

Ps: This is an original work by an actual human. No tokens were harmed in the creation of this post.